1.Take this thing here.

2.Put in in this thing here. With friend.

3.RINSE THIS WOW CAPS.

4.Boil this water. Well, not THIS water. Your own water.

5.Dig this package from trash, take pic.

6.Now it's in water. Food, not package.

7.Look at that shit.

8.THERE IS BROCCOLI TOO YOU KNOW.

9.Now you are a cooking chef.

10.THIS IS A CLOSER PICTURE ENJOY YOUR FOOD.

my original plan was to switch over to tumblr completely, but i seem to just be posting pictures of me drinking various fluids, so i may keep this around for more pertinent information.

blog can be found here:

http://teddyfaley.tumblr.com

This review was translated from Italian, thanks to Google, so if it sounds funny you’re xenophobic.

187onamothafuckincop. blogspot. com’s review:

At last even one of the best emerging Mc’s i’ve ever heard makes his debut with this Ep. The Mc i’m talkin’ about is Teddy Faley, a talented rapper from Maryland, and the record is Apple Juice: first chapter of the “Juice” series (an Ep from this series will be available in freedownload every 6 months).
I found out this artist with Myspace, I immediately loved his particular style and, after months waiting for some record to come out, I’m here reviewing this incredible Ep. Teddy Faley is the “one-mand-band” of this record: he raps, produces the whole album, mixes it, records it and masters It, all by himself.
Teddy shows all is great talent in rapping, his songs do not have refrains, so that the verses are the beating heart of the songs. His flow is fantastic and versatile an,( thanks to his beautiful voice) it never bores the listener.
Lyrics are one of the strengths of the record, Ted is a master in the use of metaphors (just to make an example: “Little me, balance of a buzzard, sleeping thru the winter just to cower in the summer”), which are not too complicate to understand. His lyrics prove his ability in writing, they change from sad lyrics to angry or sweet lyrics without falling out of style.
But Teddy’s not just an incredible Mc, he’s a great producer too: his beats are now experimental and noisy (Skinned Knees), now melodic (Been Had Been) and they’re never repetitive. The drums ain’t dirty but sometimes they’re very aggressive.
The record opens with a funny intro (with a great instrumental at the end), then starts one of the most intense and complicated tracks of the Ep: Darwin Complex. Well has some of the greatestand deepest lyrics of the record, full of awesome metaphors ((“It aint the height that qualifies the ladder, it’s the rungs. And you’re melting your wax wings too far from the sun.”), one of the best tracks of the cd. Been Had Been is a beautiful story about friendships with a sad and melodic beat. Skinned Knees is the angriest song of the Ep, the beat sounds like some Industrial stuff, Ted is unstoppable and talks about some folks who defined his music as “odd rap”. 80 Proof Beautiful treats the same argument as Skinned Knees, this one’s fantastic too. Straw Man Argument, in my opinion, is the worst track of the album, it has great lyrics, but I don’t really like the beat that much. Smile is the saddest song of the record, awesome lyrics and a beat that, from the melodic start, becomes noisy and violent.
This is an awesome debut Ep by a fantastic Mc/Producer, I’m not giving this any rating, but I really suggest you to listen to it ‘cause it is in freedownload and I don’t think it will let you down! Teddy Faley, write this name down, ‘cause I’m quite sure you will hear about him soon!

187 On A Mothafuckin’ Cop Rating : 8/10

This one was not.

———————————

Overit Media:

Lucky Charms, Hip-Hop & Apple Juice

Lucky Charms has a character who claims that his “magically delicious” product
will entertain and please you, is much like the evilness of commercial, corporate hip hop.

Lucky Charms’ 12 vitamins and minerals sound health-conscious and they look
like fun, but at the root of the cereal are complex sugars, chemicals and other
additives that are not at the top of everyone’s list of “things I want to put in my
body.”

Commercial-corporate hip-hop is colorful, fun and appealing to the outsider, but lying deep within is something more sinister. Greed and ill-conceived social messages are eating away at the souls of those who are under commercial music’s fist, their practices against the artists and especially that of the masses who look to this stuff for meaning.

As you eat your Lucky Charms, they are sweet at first, but they become eerily
sickening after a while. Something is happening. You are coming to a realization.

What have I done? Who have I become? Why must I eat like this? As you sit in
the wonderment of corporate-commercially marketed music, in its majesty, the same happens.

Realizations occur. Who am I? What have I done? Who have I become? Why must I be like this?

Are you ready to break free and break into a frame of mind? An indie music state of mind?

Try this out. Completely free, unadulterated, better than what you’re used to, straight-up, indie hip hop:
Teddy Faley’s Free Album, Apple Juice, will be available to the world on Thursday, November 27th

That’s all, thanks for reading.

follow me on twitter?

What's really hood?

This kind gentleman decided that I looked like just the sort of gal he wanted stepping on his stomach. Even said he’d pay me, until I exclaimed loudly that I was not a prostitute.

Bare feet preferred, sock feet accepted reluctantly. Heels expressly forbidden.

Also, he’s into breathing. He told me that when it looked like I had lost interest; how could I maintain interest when he couldn’t look me in the face, but kept sweeping his eyes up and down my entire body??

While there is no photographic evidence of this dude, I assure you that the above info is legit, and was scrawled by the fetishist in question.

Considering the abysmally low amount in my bank account, I may yet consider taking him up on his offer.

Get Your Facebook Usernames Here!

If all the status updates, photos, links, notes, quizzes and games you’ve added to your Facebook profile don’t adequately reflect the awesomeness that is you, just wait until this weekend. Starting at 12:01 a.m. Eastern time Saturday, you’ll be able to choose a username and convert your Facebook profile’s Web address from an alphanumeric mess into something more memorable.

So, for example, instead of pointing friends to:

facebook.com/profile.php?id=3141592

(that’s not a real address, as far as I can tell) you could instead direct them to:

facebook.com/guy_who_likes_pi

The Palo Alto, Calif.-based social network broke the news and explained the basics of this new feature in a blog post yesterday. Facebook will suggest a few usernames based on your own name, but you’ll also be able to write something of your own creation as long as it’s at least five characters long (so much for my dream of grabbing “robp”) and consists only of numbers, letters and periods.

The post further explains that you’d better choose your username wisely: “Once it’s been selected, you won’t be able to change or transfer it.” Anybody want to guess — assuming that Facebook’s servers don’t first implode from all the traffic — how many people will misspell a desired username in the wee hours of Saturday after spending a few too many hours at the bar?

Facebook’s help section spells out further details. A separate noteexplains how administrators of public Facebook pages — if they had 1,000 or more fans as of May 31 — can set their own custom username and address.

My own public page was about 960 fans short of that minimum at the end of May, so I’ll have to content myself with christening my personal presence on Facebook. Given the rarity of my spellcheck-defying surname, I’m not too worried about claiming a distinct moniker. But many other people — here I’m thinking of friends and co-workers with last names like “Smith,” “Brown” and “Norton” — may have to get creative to find a memorable username that hasn’t already been taken by one of this social network’s 200-million-plus users.

If you’re on Facebook, what do you plan to do with this opportunity? Do you have a username in mind that you’ll try to grab right away? Or will you wait and see what’s available after the initial, crazed land rush slows down?

i’m gonna be dr dre.

That’s all, thanks for reading.

follow me on twitter?

From: the logical
Date: Jun 25, 2008 6:17 AM

hey bro,

me and a buddy of mine (www. myspace. com/egomyself), Ego HimSelf, are putting together an album under

the name DropOuts Inc.

Its all tracks about the good/bad/ugly of drug and alcohol use. If you’d like to join in and

add vocals – i put up some tracks for download – if theres anything you can do with them – do it! haha.

www. myspace. com/dropoutsinc

laters,

joe

the logical

Now as some of you know, this record has become a completely different project than Joe had originally intended when he sent that first email over a year ago.

As it stands now, the record in it’s entirety is now in my hands, and is floating somewhere between the mixing and post-production phase.

Here is the most recent email i received from joe:

my son is scheduled to be born on july 21. my wife is being induced that day. make the record happen

homie!

no pressure, of course.

werd to you and yers.

No lie, I wouldn’t work with me if I had the luxury of that choice.

I.  Work.  Slow.

It’s comin.

Cause it feels so good. It's fun!

]]> http://teddyfaley.wordpress.com/2009/06/02/need-some-fun-advice/feed/ 0 Kat fun advice on satan http://teddyfaley.wordpress.com/2009/05/29/local-man-confused-about-ambiguity-of-relationship-status/ http://teddyfaley.wordpress.com/2009/05/29/local-man-confused-about-ambiguity-of-relationship-status/#comments Fri, 29 May 2009 18:36:56 +0000 teddyfaley http://teddyfaley.wordpress.com/?p=264 ]]> BALTIMORE, MD – A local man has demonstrated confusion in regards to a newly formed relationship Thursday, when he was propositioned by a local flooz. “I met a girl at Ropewalk last night and we got along well, then she asked me if I wanted to watch this movie she told me she liked but I had never seen back at her place. I started to say ‘sure’, but then I realized I might be in a relationship.”

Roughly one month ago, local celebrity Mike Faley met a local woman through a mutual friend and they began dating. “It started innocently enough – but now we’re seeing each other a few days a week. We see each other sober. I think she left something at my house…” The uncertainty of the status of the relationship has lead Mr. Faley to wonder about his exploits with other women, and how it could create conflict. “I’ve never called her my girlfriend or anything, but at what point do I stop hooking up with other people? Is it too late?”

“I told the chick I met at the bar I had to wake up early, but maybe some other time. I saved her number.”

Get it.

CLICK TO DOWNLOAD.

Toy Cars

Amphetamine